The concept of continuity has permeated my thoughts these past weeks. I’ve been tossing this notion around exploring the underlying continuousness that pervades our lives despite the popular discourse around how finite everything is.
Although there are just five weeks left before our move to San Diego, my husband and I share a lack of anxiety and the kinds of nerves that would be expected in such a drastic move. Instead, we find ourselves full of excitement, eager to jump into the unknown, and ready to observe the new lives we create for ourselves. We both equally have noted how seamless the transition feels to both of us during the many discussions of our upcoming adventures. Why is it so easy for us to leave a home we love that our children grew up in, a city that treated us so well, a plethora of friends, and an overall very comfortable life in New York City? Continuity. Let me explain.
Deciding to embark on a nine-month road trip was more life-changing than we could have ever anticipated. The constant weaving between cities and states and constant moving from home to home across the country actually established a continued fluidity in our lifestyle and ultimately our ability to just pick up and leave a city we anchored our roots in. The continuous moving around over a total of thirteen months (some changes were made locally) during the pandemic has catapulted us into a life full of adaptability and desire to continue moving. We could have easily decided to continue living in New York City but the continuous excitement that comes with change inspired us to continue moving.
When thinking about this more deeply, I realize how so many of our decisions have a continuous effect on our overall life. This awareness reveals how much control we actually do have in our own destinies. Consider for one moment all the continuity in your life that has stuck around for several years. Then try to remember the source, the seed that planted this habit, routine, perspective, etc… that lingered along by your side in the form of the resulting blossomed inceptions. For example, if you consciously have decided to be an active person, you are probably in great physical and mental shape, sleep well, and incorporate healthy foods into your diet. By being fit, there is likely a continuum of positive factors that flow into your life: the energy to go out with friends, the desire to spend time outdoors, and even perhaps an affinity to travel. In return, you evolve into a more interesting person who has a lot of experiences to share, is more versed in other cultures, holds fewer biases against others, and has the kind of sophisticated palate that comes with dabbling in various cuisines. There is a continuous progression towards a wonderful life that stems from your commitment to be active. When taking a moment to really grasp the idea that every decision you make will lead to a continuous, long-lasting, string of outcomes, you won’t be able to shy away from how much influence you have on your own destiny.
Similarly, if we firmly hold on to bad habits or unhelpful patterns, they too form into continuous routines that deliver equally negative results. Allowing negative conversations to invade our minds leads to gloomy outcomes. Once we embark on the train that takes us to the land of self-hate and self-doubt it can often prove to be an unpleasant, never-ending continuous trip, often to hell. Sometimes the ride isn’t as extreme as a drop-off in hell. We catch ourselves continuing down the wrong path. At this point we either accept the direction we are going in, embracing the consequences, or we clip them from continuing from further flourishment.
There are countless threads we all have tied to the core of our soul, each thread hosting an infinite amount of memories, fears, doubts, experiences, adventures, loves, failures, successes, and so forth. If we dissect each thread we would easily be able to trace back to the root seed on each one. Some threads will continue to unravel throughout our entire existence, following us as we near mortality, and even thrive beyond our deaths. Others, we either luckily, or foolishly, clip prematurely. Regardless, each and every decision we have ever made, and will continue to make, will continue to thrive in the continuity of everything that falls into place once it has been planted.
My family’s willingness to hit the road during a time the world seemed to be falling apart, with no plan or goals, beyond getting the heck out of a big city during a pretty scary period, brought us continued unexpected experiences, including an unanticipated move across the country. Our road trip seed will hopefully continue to sprout into adventurous blooms of new homes, new friends, new explorations, and overall new lives. All of these novelties will then continue to continue evolving. Suddenly, life feels to have an endless stretch of continuous years, possibilities, and opportunities.
I am in no way boasting about our experiences on the road. Rather, I am actually still quite surprised by my decision to allow the idea to come to life. I faced all my fears of traveling through a world crisis, with no plan, no destination, no end date, with three children in tow. Doing so allowed me to gain more confidence, faith in myself, reliance on a higher power, and has also put me on the courageous track towards continued adventures. Had I chosen to be stuck in my fears, I would have simply remained on a path of continuously missing out on incredible opportunities. Either way, I would have landed on a thread of continuum’s spectrum. I am so glad I chose the road of continued adventurous experiences instead of the path of continuous excuses.
Not all efforts towards the continuity of positive developments end in the best ways. There are certainly certain things we cannot control that are too obvious to dwell on. Then there are those things we think we can actively control but which do not materialize in the ways that we have hoped. For instance, today was my last day engaging in a monthly community service drive that I spearheaded over the past six years. That is roughly sixty events of bringing community members together to volunteer and support others in every capacity imaginable. Although I am thrilled that the program will continue without me, I am also faced with the decision of whether I want to continue facilitating a similar program in a new city. The harsh reality is that unless we actively pursue continuity in a specific area, the world continues in that aspect without us, all while we just continue our pursuits on another path; a derailment of sorts but always on track to continue whatever it is we nurture.
Since analyzing these thoughts that I have been sharing, I am extremely conscious of the continued flow that resonates from everything I think, say, and do. Next time I say something, I will think more consciously of where those words will go and how they will impact the continuum on the thread that they land on. When I hit the snooze button to evade my 5:30 am wake up routine that boosts me with the physical and mental energy I need to get through the day, I will remind myself when crankiness hits mid-afternoon, that by choosing sleep I decided to continue my day without a practice that grounds me. I know that if I choose to communicate with my teens through constant yelling (those of you with teens know how hard it is to refrain from yelling) that I would be continuously creating a rift between us with each shout. I also know that if I continue to view my life as abundant and blessed that my life will be just so. On the flip side, if I choose to focus on all that lacks in my life, I would continuously live a life of struggle and disappointment. Everything we choose absolutely creates a link of continuity on the threads that we are tethered to.
There is comfort in knowing that where we are at this point in our lives has a lot to do with the continuity of the patterns we have established. Knowing that we can choose to allow the intricate circumstances in our lives to continue to blossom or to cut their roots entirely, which would essentially allow us to release what does not serve us into continuous dissipation, should feel empowering. We continue towards life and death simultaneously while each of these realities owns its very own real estate on a separate thread in our life. We have the ability to continuously stretch the moments we love and continue to remove the ones we don’t until our time comes to an end. Yet, even in death, we continue to live in the hearts and minds of the people we loved and who loved us in return.
As you continue to read these last words, look at the patterns that you are continuing in your own life and consider how they will continuously affect you. Each word, each thought, each dream, each gesture, each movie, each book, each friend, each lover, each bite, each dollar…every single thing will have a continuous effect. When writing, I continue to learn so much about my own life. I will continue to urge you to look at the ways that we can all live our best lives because my biggest goal is that we continue to grow and prosper together.