There seems to be an inundation of robots infiltrating our country lately. They have suddenly appeared in droves and seem to be multiplying at a mindblowing pace. Consider taking the survey below to ascertain whether you are at risk of operating like a preprogrammed machine or if you still have functional human parts.

All results are confidential and seen only by you.

1) True or False. On #blackouttuesday, you posted a black screen to stand up against the injustices blacks face in our country. Similarly, you rightfully followed along in the hashtag trend du jour and eagerly posted #stopasianhate on your social media accounts. You are a loving human being who stands up against hate bias in support of all marginalized groups. Except, Jews. Your feed was not inundated with blue screens signaling you to stand in solidarity with this group while they encounter heinous attacks throughout the world over the last two weeks, so you didn’t dutifully follow up by posting a blue screen. Hey, I get it, you didn’t want to be the only one who actually means what they say when they like, totally, hashtag #nomorehate.

2) When popular movements like BLM took hold in our culture, you:

a) Immediately stole others’ posts that celebrated the organization and reposted them on your own feed loyally responding to society’s signals.
b) Researched the organization and learned that the co-founders are Marxist trained.
c) Assumed that BLM stands for Bureau of Land Management and didn’t get what all the fuss was about.

3) True or False. You got vaxed against Covid (congrats!). You were beyond giddy and couldn’t wait to post your “I got the shot” sticker all over social media because, like, everyone else does it and you secretly hoped this post would get you your most likes ever!

4) True or False. You stand up for minorities, rightfully, by posting your support on social media. You also take the time to educate yourself on ways to support these groups, learn about their struggles, and donate to organizations that will help empower them by battling biases they are victims of because you know there is so much more work to do than just posting.

5) True or False. You go through your day “going through the motions” plowing through the endless tasks that life demands of you with the only goal being that the day ends so that you can wake up and repeat the process all over again.

6) Vicky is super sweet and goes out of her way to do nice things for her friends and family. She can also be annoying and overbearing. Your mutual friends like to focus on her latter qualities. You:

a) Laugh at all the cruel jokes made about Vicky when she isn’t around.
b) Stand up for Vicky and tell your friends to stop benefiting from her good-naturedness if they are going to make fun of her behind her back.
c) Contribute to the conversations by sharing your own examples of how Vicky annoys you.

7) True or False. You think the media delivers honest information and therefore, you formulate many of your ideas around what is presented to you by your chosen news source(s).

8) True or False. You don’t want to introduce yourself using a pronoun, so you tell the meeting moderator to fuck off and to refer to you however they think seems fit. Then you openly declare that you refuse to use pronouns in your signature.

9) You’re out at dinner getting to know some new friends from work. They chose a new, local vegan restaurant. Although you’re craving a steak, like the one you had last night, you kindly accepted the invite. During dinner, the group openly discusses how appalled they are by carnivores who directly threaten the existence of our planet. You:

a) Vehemently agree with them and bash all meat-eaters.
b) Let the group know that you are not a vegan.
c) Nervously admit to your new friends that you regularly eat meat and vow to never eat animal products ever again.

10) True or False. You are taking this survey seriously.

Tallying your results:

Give yourself 1 point for each answer noted as below.

1. True
2. A
3. True
4. False
6. A or C
7. True
8. False

9. A

10. True

0-2 points: You are still a solid human being with a brain that operates independently of all outside influences.

3-5 points: You should seek help immediately as your organs are slowly transforming into the mechanical body parts that make for easy robot wiring.
6-10 points: Turn off your system. Reboot. Return to earth as a human being.

The author of this survey is not a psychologist. She (she/her pronouns of choice) is a vegetarian living in a big city that has been infested by programmed and indoctrinated mechanical beings. While some may like to label her, this rare survivor of the human race tends to think outside of a pre-wired box, pushes the envelope, and refuses to become part of a disorderly world run by failing human beings. This woke movement has put everyone to sleep. When is everyone going to wake the fuck up?

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